Thai girlfriend and sending money
Sending money to your Thai girlfriend can be an arduous task but one that will be expected if you choose to take them on as a full time partner, whether you live in Thailand, the UK or Australia. Most Thai’s presume that us foreigners are all millionaires and the streets of the UK and Australia are paved with gold. They sometimes find it hard to believe that foreigners work hard for their money and most will do without nice things themselves just to make sure their Thai partner has money to take care of themselves and their family. Some Thai partners if you are lucky have their own job that pays a good salary but the Thai way is to stop work , sit on their posterior and allow you as the boyfriend to support their life, is this the Thai way? NO, if a Thai woman had a Thai boyfriend he would make her work whilst he sat on his posterior on a daily basis as the ratio in Thailand is currently 6 women to 1 man. Most Thai men can pick and choose their girlfriends which is mainly why a Thai female concentrates on their appearance so much and spends large amounts of money on creams, shoes and clothes.
Where Does the Money Come From?
My girlfriend came from a bar, but she never asks me for money!! I have heard this a 1,000 times in my career as a visa consultant. So if your Thai girlfriend no longer works in a bar then were does she get her money from? If you don’t send it to her and she doesn’t work then were do you suggest she gets money to support herself , her lifestyle and her family? Is she obtaining it from other sources? You will say she is now a farmer, back at home working with the family. So for arguments sake, you met this beautiful woman, who when made up looks like Miss World, changes her lifestyle for someone she has just met and goes to work in the mud, the red hot sun, working 14 hours a day in the rice fields. Does this sound reasonable to you? So if your lady is from a bar and you decide to be her full time partner, then control the finances, control were she lives, take note of what time she calls and the noise in the background.
This post has been written to try and save you money and avoid making mistakes and to help you to realize that not everything should be looked at through rose tinted glasses. Falling in love is easy, mending a broken heart is more difficult. So if you come on holiday and fall in love for the first time, even if you have the resources to help your Thai girlfriend with finances, think why? I have only known her 2-3 weeks, do you really know the woman enough to sacrifice your heart and or wallet? Should you bide your time and keep in contact, building up the relationship constructively from love and not just money, which is easy to do. We all find buying love an easy task in Thailand, but when your dream disappears so does your hard earned money. So control the relationship and keep tight on the purse strings. Your Thai girlfriend has to learn that you are not a walking ATM machine and you give her just enough to be comfortable, “generosity is seen as a weakness” in Thailand, throwing money around is not going to get you the respect and the love you deserve. It will be just you falling in love and buying affection, so the stronger your heart the better.
The Asian mentality is all about Money, Money, Money, from waking up to going to sleep. Chinese people are no different to Thai people in this respect. However the difference that the Chinese have a very good and strong business sense and know how to save money and use it as a tool to increase their wealth. Which is why most of the most successful business families in Thailand are Thai/ Chinese mixed. The Thais can be irresponsible with money, like they have a burning sensation to spend it as fast as humanly possible. You can give 30,000 Thai Baht today and by tomorrow it will be gone, this is the way they live their lives. Which is live for today and do not worry about tomorrow. You can ask most Thais about money saved in the bank and how they would feel if they passed away, leaving it all to their immediate family and most from a poor background would rather pull out their own teeth than leave anything. Their money is their money and they can be amazingly ruthless with it, even with their own family. You will often see that a younger Thai from a poor background may ask for a new handbag and shoes and then the following day need money to send to the family. This is their selfishness coming out, which we say” I am alright but sod the rest”, which is why you need to try to teach your Thai partner that money does not grow on trees or come free from an ATM. They need to understand to be more self conscious and responsible with yours and their money, if you keep supplying they will keep wasting and happily taking.
Watch and Observe
If you have entered in to a new relationship with a Thai then you must remember to quietly watch how they are with money. Do they try to conserve your money by telling you not to spend to much on an item you may wish to purchase? Or tell you not to buy something as it is not needed? Are they protecting you, and your money by showing a caring side? Or do they act like they do not care about money and behave like it is a never ending flow? Do they constantly let you buy things and not worry about you but just your money? In a small amount of time you will start to see what sort of attitude towards responsibility and money your Thai partner has. You will either be happy or have serious reservations which will always be in the back of your mind. The way you spend in Thailand is what they will expect when you go home and start sending money to your Thai girlfriend. If she is a money grabber it might be wise to move on and bin her. You normally find the younger they are the more irresponsible they are, which leads to my previous post, is it love or lust? The Thai women who are more your own age will be looking for a solid future and normally protect your money as if it was their own. This will become apparent very quickly. I am writing from valuable experience and serious costly mistakes I have made in the past. Put simply, trying to be the 2 week millionaire does not always have the best outcome.
Monetary games played by Asians in general are the best you will ever see. They would even give Sir Richard Branson a run for his money. Thai women are cunning, clever and their puppy dog eyes make it even easier to extract your hard earned pounds and dollars. Also, with most social media being used allowing you to talk face to face on a telephone it makes it even more difficult to say NO if money is requested. But you have to be strong and let your brain do the negotiating, not the other brains you have lower down. Never ever forget that too much generosity is a weakness.
Handbags and Shoes!
If you are a newbie to Thailand and start a relationship one of the first things you will find is that your Thai partner will take you to their home village. These often comprise of old wooden huts and tin shacks, normally making your heart sink to the floor. You cannot believe the woman of your dreams comes from a place like this and her family have to live like poor peasants, and it makes you think of what you have and have grown up with but ask yourself first!!! How did they survive before you come along? How will they survive after? Why don’t they help them selves by spending 2,000 Baht putting on a new roof? What about the money you have been sending, where has that gone, “handbags and shoes”? The Thai’s generally live in these conditions and have for 1,000′s of years. The reason for the home visit is to play on those heart strings you have, and like me the first thing you do is put a refurbishment plan in to action, start sending money normally way over the top to refurbish the home. When you go again (if ever invited), you will see it looks exactly the same or only a small amount has been done. But, the decision is yours guys, the puppy dog eyes and smile will win. If they have lived the same way happily for 1,000′s of years then a few more probably won’t make a difference. You can start helping in this way over time, but just not straight away as the respect will not be there and what if the relationship does not work down the track? You have just spent a fortune, for nothing. Lets face it, would you back a 3 legged horse at the race track!!! Would you give a UK or Australian woman loads of money after a 2 week holiday? NO, NO,NO, so do not try to buy love it does not work guys, believe me! I myself living in Thailand and have been there and done it, so take my advice or pay the price.
It’s Your Decision
Some people take advice and some let it go in one ear and out the other. Of course, not everyone is the same, so do your research first on the Internet and reading forums or buy on line books that are available like “Money number one” it is not called this for no reason. So if you do choose to help your Thai girlfriend with money then do not be flamboyant and stick to a certain amount and try not to add more if requested, but the decision is yours.
There are numerous ways to get money to your Thai partner, including the following:
- Western Union or money gram which are the favorites, but the charges can be expensive.
- Bank transfer is also used, but can be costly and time consuming
- After a long relationship you may wish to consider letting your Thai partner have a debit card for an account that you can control how much they withdraw which is also a favorite as most banks do not charge for Foreign withdrawals.
- Leaving monies after your holiday which is not always the best idea, sadly large chucks of money can be a strong and tempting excuse for a shopping spree.
All of the above can be used and for a visa application which ever way you decide to work together please keep all the information and receipts. Financial help and support for your Thai girlfriend can work well when showing a strong relationship but it is not a prerequisite. All the above information is just written as a guide from experience and we hope it will be helpful.
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